Domination game: taking power (or giving it away)

Contrary to what is often imagined, exploring domination requires neither leather costumes nor complicated scenarios. A 2016 study from Concordia University reveals that 47% of those surveyed have fantasized about a dominant/submissive dynamic — and the majority have never dared to talk to their partner about it. This is where it gets interesting: the power play is, above all, a game of trust, communication, and embraced desire. It's not a question of strength or hierarchy — it's a question of shared desire. You choose together who holds the reins, and for how long. The rest is improvisation guided by both of your pleasures.

At quedulove, we believe the best games always start with a real conversation — and rarely end at the scheduled time.

Why showing an interest really makes a difference in a relationship

Playing with a dominant/submissive dynamic creates a rare bubble of intensity: you step off autopilot, you relearn how to read each other and express what you truly want. This type of exploration strengthens communication in — and out of — the bedroom, because it forces you to name your boundaries, your desires, and your signals. In terms of pure pleasure, the build-up of tension and anticipation has a direct effect on arousal: the brain produces more dopamine when the outcome is uncertain and anticipated. And for shopping, knowing what you're really looking for — soft handcuffs, a blindfold, a role-play guide — prevents you from ending up with an accessory that just gathers dust. It is better to start simple and progress together.

What we wonder before we get started

Where to start when you've never tried domination as a couple?

The best starting point is conversation — before the first accessory. Talk with your partner about what attracts you, set a safe word to stop the game at any moment, and start light: a blindfold, a verbal constraint, a simple rule. The sensations come quickly, there's no need to try everything on the first night.

What accessories should I buy for beginner power play?

Choose soft materials and systems that are easy to release — fabric or velvet handcuffs, comfortable blindfolds, feathers, or a Wartenberg wheel to play with sensations. Avoid rigid restraints or complex knots until you are used to it. An initiation kit designed for beginners remains a safe bet: everything is thought out so that pleasure takes precedence over logistics.

Can you play with domination without any accessories at all?

Absolutely. Your voice, your gaze, the words you choose, the rules set verbally — all of that is enough to create a real dynamic. Many couples find that purely verbal play is more intense than any accessory, precisely because it relies 100% on imagination and complicity. Objects amplify, but they don't replace the essential.